New World Order (Relationships)
Things have been interesting the past year...to say the least. I've been having some serious breakthroughs in the way I view the world. I guess it can be attributed to my refusal to conform to the way society wants me to live my life. I didn't go to college for 4 years I went on ahead and took 6. I didn't start a career hoping to put together a resume of working for some company for x amount of years instead I worked for money to put toward my own business aspirations. I guess you could say I live my life like an artist trying to create the definitive work. I'm a trailblazer and I want to be remembered for something and because of that I tend to question convention. If there are boundaries in this world I don't recognize them. So the other day I was thinking about how much this world of ours is changing. One of the biggest changes has been our new President not that he's of mixed race but the fact that he's a progressive thinker. This is the first time I believe we've had a President that is as well informed and as innovative as Barack. The way we communicate with each other is constantly evolving on a daily basis. Google has changed technological philosophy. Of course I can't overlook the skinny jean craze. Our world is in a transition period and not even our healthcare system will stay the same. It's time to upgrade.
Which brings me to my true topic of discussion. I'm going to be 30 next year and I have the fortune of being burdened by my parent's asking me when I'm going to settle down and get married. So of course I've been thinking, 'Damn, when am I going to get married?', lol. I have contrasting views on this though. I've been told by most of my above 40 year old friends who have been married, who are either divorced or still in holy matrimony, not to get married until I'm at least 35. I think that is a great age because at 35 I'll probably be very well established and will have had enough experiences (wit da ladiezzz) to hang up my hunting bow and settle down. On the other hand I think about marriage and I wonder why would I ever want to get married. I have come to the conclusion that the only reason people get married is because society has conditioned them to believe that's what they are supposed to do. I believe the only reason I would get married is to have kids...well that and to throw a rockin' party for me and my baby. But, then I think about all the peeps I know that are divorced with kids. One of my homies who is 38 and single told me he wishes he would have gotten married, had kids and gotten divorced already so he could have children and not still be looking to get into a relationship. This was a very thought provoking conversation because he spoke from a perspective as if divorce was inevitable. Has divorce become a part of marriage? Is it peanut butter to jelly? Is it kool-aid to sugar? Ham to Burger? (if you didn't get it go watch 'Friday' NOW!) Over the past 10 years marriage has become a spectacle on television. It's entertainment as opposed to a holy union. In the last 3 years I don't know how many women have called me out of the blue wanting to hang out in the midst of their 'cold feet craze' before they got married. I told each and every one of them to take their time and there is no need to rush forever. I guess it's all psychology because nobody starts freaking out until the wedding date comes and you start thinking about all the things you can't have when you're married but you weren't taking advantage of strange sex while you were in the 2 year relationship so it doesn't matter. What exactly makes marriage so different from being in a relationship anyway?
One of my friends has been with her boyfriend for 10 years and they have no plans of getting married. They have a house, a dog and cars together but no ceremony. My current girlfriend doesn't want to get married (so she says now, I know tunes change). I'm not so sure I want to get married but I think our concept of marriage is changing right along with everything else. With our divorce rates and families that have 2 kids by one Dad and 2 kids by that Mom it's very clear to me that we said goodbye to convention a long time ago. The truth is we're in a new world where those old expectations do not apply. People are going to do what works for them and not what worked for their parents. I'm still undecided but I think what's important is truly finding someone who wants to walk the same path you want to walk. We are growing into a world where you can choose to live your life the way you want to and odds are you can find someone that wants to do the same thing. Thanks for reading my blog. Namaste.
-Deji
