Women Date for Equity

What's up peeps? I know you all probably think you have crazy dating lives but I think I'm the King when it comes to meeting crazy girls. I believe this is the worst time for a guy to be single in Southern California. I say this because it has become resoundingly evident that most So Cal girls date for equity. I do not think they are actually looking for Love. I was recently talking with a personal trainer friend of mine who had recently gone through a breakup and she kept harping on the fact that her ex-boyfriend cheated on her 'after 2 years.' Why does it matter how long it took him to cheat? He could have cheated before and you just didn't know about it. Don't get me wrong I think it's horrible to cheat but I started to understand it really mattered to her how long they had actually been in the relationship. If he cheated 6 months in she probably could have moved on faster I suppose or in fact she may have been thinking I would have been 2 years younger thus being more attractive to would-be suitors. I don't know either way it's obvious that men and women most definitely DO NOT think alike.

In fact, some time ago while I was out visiting a client in a downtown San Diego high rise I encountered very sexy 30-something (closer to the Cougar side than the Puma) in a business suit with a skirt of course. Ladies if you don't know a woman dressed up in a tight business skirt is just as hot as a bikini clad siren. Something about the way those things compliment hips and backside just get me going! So I approached her in my shark suited and began to project my GQ vibe and she took the bait. But, something between that moment and when I actually decided to reach out to her went terribly wrong. She was apparently into some guy she just started dating and wanted to hook me up with her friend. So I did what any guy who actually values his time would do...I asked for a picture and this is what I got in response:

Deji:

Sure, I will work on getting a picture for you! But while I'm doing that, could you provide a few things for me?

• · A picture of you in front of your car
• · A recent Bank Statement
• · The value of your property
• · A copy of your credit report

Thanks!

Lol, clearly my mind was blown. All I was trying to do was see a picture of this woman before we wasted each others time but clearly a picture was not enough for the other party. As hilarious as this might be this brings up something real in regards to what men and women look for in a relationship. Most of the time they are very different things so take the time to find out what your partner or potential partner may want from you it may be the difference between a short relationship and a long one. Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment! Namaste!

-Deji

Manhood according to Baba Deji

My Father is a very important person to me. He has helped mold me into the person I am today in ways he can't even imagine. In fact, he probably wouldn't be happy to know he's the reason why I'm not some guy sitting in a cubicle somewhere making a steady paycheck. That sounds too much like being a wild animal in a cage to me, haha. I'm an entrepreneur at heart and my Dad helped mold me into that by challenging me to be an independent thinker. Growing up in inner city of LA I was challenged to be as 'black' as I could be by people wanting me to talk a certain way or dress a certain way and if I didn't I wasn't 'black enough'. Even when I turned on the Tv...well BET to be exact there were all these images that portrayed manhood that contradicted what I was learning at home. My Dad is from Nigeria and he speaks proper British English, he didn't wear baggy clothes and he most definitely wasn't sleeping with all kinds of different women. So for me learning to be a man or unfolding into the man I am today seemed very different from some of my friends who maybe didn't have a Father figure in their life and were left to be molded by society which is not forgiving and definitely not nurturing. So here is my account of what my Dad taught me about being a man. Enjoy.

Manhood according to Baba Deji

My Dad taught me about being a man

How to be a Man

He taught me that being a man is not about having a deep voice.

Being a man is not abut always being right

Being a man is not about dominating people

My Dad taught me to always show up

My Dad taught me what you give is never enough

He taught me to always do what I said I was going to do and then some

My Father taught me that family comes first

My Dad taught me that being a man is about paving your own way without being afraid to let others help you

My Dad taught me that being a man is about letting your responsibilities mold you

Being a ma is't about buying out the bar or how many bottles you can buy

Being a man is not about what kind of car you drive

Being a man is not about how baggy your clothes are

Being a man is not about how much you let a woman get away with

My Dad taught me to be a man is to demand as much from others as you demand from yourself

I can be aware of these ideals but until I practice them I'm fooling myself.

-Deji

A man's gotta do...

"A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

I called my Dad today to wish him a good week and he dropped a jewel on me. He had spent his weekend working in the yard at his second house and while commenting on his not so relaxing weekend he said, "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do." This is not something I hadn't heard before but it resonated just as true as ever. Allow me to borrow a line from a famous hip hopper, "Along the road to riches and diamond rings real niggas, do real things." While following your passion on the way to achieving your goals you will have to do some things that may not be glamorous but definitely will be noteworthy. For instance, when I was 25 I was attempting to break into the behind the scenes world of professional basketball. I took an internship with the Los Angeles Clippers in their Public Relations department and of course the internship was unpaid but I didn't care because it payed in access. At the time my network within the NBA was so strong that I was buddies with the Clippers' Director of Player personnel before I took the internship but I had yet to transfer those connections into dollar signs so I was hustling. This internship required me to work 2-4 days a week & 8 hours a day for the Clippers doing everything from sitting in interviews and extracting quotes for the media to making sure Ralph Lawler got popcorn at halftime. Needless to say it was a pretty cool internship but T-mobile doesn't let you pay their bills with good times...I needed to make a check so I got another job. I ended up landing a gig with a start up eBay store in Beverly Hills. I would work at this store for way less than I was worth for 8-10 hours a day then pop on my Staples Center credential the next. I worked 7 days a week month after month but I didn't realize that I didn't get a day off until a few years later because when I was running around Staples Center like I owned it I wasn't really working. I was having fun jive talking Cheryl Miller. I would run stats during timeouts and get yelled at by Terrell Owens saying he wanted to race me. I was definitely not working when I sat in on a Lebron James interview in the visiting team locker room only to have my buddy Donyell Marshall try to kick me out. This was a great time in my life because I was working towards my goal but I had to work a job that I didn't really care much for to allow me to do that. I didn't have to sell drugs like Jay-Z or strip like The Game (lol) but I had to do what I had to do. Even today I am working on 6 figure deals but in between deals if I need income I'll do what it takes to get me to that day those checks are signed.

When you are following your dreams there will undoubtedly be obstacles in the road. The people who achieve their dreams find a way to crush the obstacle. Namaste.