My Father is a very important person to me. He has helped mold me into the person I am today in ways he can't even imagine. In fact, he probably wouldn't be happy to know he's the reason why I'm not some guy sitting in a cubicle somewhere making a steady paycheck. That sounds too much like being a wild animal in a cage to me, haha. I'm an entrepreneur at heart and my Dad helped mold me into that by challenging me to be an independent thinker. Growing up in inner city of LA I was challenged to be as 'black' as I could be by people wanting me to talk a certain way or dress a certain way and if I didn't I wasn't 'black enough'. Even when I turned on the Tv...well BET to be exact there were all these images that portrayed manhood that contradicted what I was learning at home. My Dad is from Nigeria and he speaks proper British English, he didn't wear baggy clothes and he most definitely wasn't sleeping with all kinds of different women. So for me learning to be a man or unfolding into the man I am today seemed very different from some of my friends who maybe didn't have a Father figure in their life and were left to be molded by society which is not forgiving and definitely not nurturing. So here is my account of what my Dad taught me about being a man. Enjoy.
Manhood according to Baba Deji
How to be a Man
He taught me that being a man is not about having a deep voice.
Being a man is not abut always being right
Being a man is not about dominating people
My Dad taught me to always show up
My Dad taught me what you give is never enough
He taught me to always do what I said I was going to do and then some
My Father taught me that family comes first
My Dad taught me that being a man is about paving your own way without being afraid to let others help you
My Dad taught me that being a man is about letting your responsibilities mold you
Being a ma is't about buying out the bar or how many bottles you can buy
Being a man is not about what kind of car you drive
Being a man is not about how baggy your clothes are
Being a man is not about how much you let a woman get away with
My Dad taught me to be a man is to demand as much from others as you demand from yourself
I can be aware of these ideals but until I practice them I'm fooling myself.
-Deji
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